BREAKING NEWS – Middlesboro, Kentucky – Jamie Coots, star of National Geographic’s canceled reality show “Snake Salvation”, which profiled Pentecostal snake-handling pastors, has died after being bitten by a snake at his church “Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name”. After conducting an investigation, Middlesboro Police Chief Jeff Sharpe stated that unnamed members the church thought Coots was on borrowed time considering what was on his schedule. They say he planned on soaking his clothes in blood and then jumping into a tank full of piranhas, and following that up by climbing into a pit filled with lions at a zoo, to show that his faith was greater than Daniel’s out of the Old Testament.