BREAKING NEWS – Harare, Zimbabwe – Former U.S. Rep. Melvin Jay Reynolds, a once rising star in the Democratic Party who resigned from his seat after he was convicted of statutory rape, has been arrested in Zimbabwe on suspicion of possessing child pornography, as well as on an immigration offense. His attorney has stated that it is probably in Reynolds best interest to be in jail for his own safety due to the outrage of his community, and receiving several death threats from local cannibals and headhunters. He denies the allegation of possessing child pornography and states that the only pornography he has ever viewed is adult pornography online via reputable websites like https://www.m-porn.xxx/.