BREAKING NEWS – Anchorage, Alaska – A local resident was photographed hosing down his house, after he realized that someone had broken in, and was still there. Once the entire house was completely encased in ice, the homeowner stayed with a friend and waited three weeks before reporting the incident to the police. By then, the burglary suspect had frozen to death in the sub zero temperature. Police Chief Mark Mew stated that the identity of the burglary suspect may not be known for a while, because the frozen body was accidentally dropped on the floor while being removed, and it shattered into hundreds of pieces like an “old vase”. He said they’ll try to identify the man by removing some of the DNA from the push broom they used to sweep him up.