BREAKING NEWS – London, England – Prince Andrew will never be restored to a “position on the balcony” after he settled a sexual abuse lawsuit with accuser Virginia Giuffre, according to Hollywood publicist R. Couri Hay.
Giuffre accused Prince Andrew of sexually abusing her on three separate occasions when she was under 18 at the behest of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. The case was set to go to trial in the fall of 2022.
The exact number to be paid out in the settlement is unknown, but Hay estimates it to be anywhere from $10-15 million, plus legal fees to be covered by Prince Andrew.
“I don’t like the way my mother is treating me,” Prince Andrew began. “I am a man with needs. Unfortunately, the way I met those needs were needs illegal. But my mother shouldn’t be whining about paying that lady off. The royal source of income comes from the peasants in Great Britain, so in a sense, the lower class commoners are paying for my sexual escapades, and they should be happy that we gave them the privilege.”