BREAKING NEWS – South Lake Tahoe, California – For over half a year, a large black bear has been appearing around South Lake Tahoe. Over that time period, the bear has broken into 28 homes and has caused property damage in a total of 33 cases.
Nicknamed Hank the Tank for his massive size, the bear is extremely food-habituated and does not appear to be afraid of humans, according to the California Department of Fish and Wildlife. The department has collected samples of the bear’s DNA and would be able to make a 100% accurate identification of the bear.
Park rangers and local police wants the bear arrested and prosecuted, but the NAACP said that would be racist because the bear is black. And PETA said if “Hank” was arrested and incarcerated, it would be just a matter of time before he joined a prison gang, shaved off all of his fur, and start getting creepy tattoos.