BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Worldwide shockwaves over former Navy Seal Mark Owens’ new book, “No Easy Day”. According to Owens, Osama bin Laden was not killed, but captured alive and taken back to a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier. He was then fitted with a lifejacket and thrown into the ocean after handcuffing his hands behind his back. Owens concluded that he was more than likely savagely torn to pieces shortly after he hit the water. He based his opinion on the sign they tied to Osama bin Laden that was designed to invoke the anger of the ocean’s most dangerous predators, which read: I WILL BACKHAND ANY GREAT WHITE SHARK OR KILLERWHALE THAT LOOKS AT ME THE WRONG WAY!!!