BREAKING NEWS – Heilongjiang, China – China bans swimming in the winter when a man dies after getting out of the Song Hua River. Apparently someone had stolen the unnamed swimmer’s clothes and towel, and the man literally froze to death standing up. The police were called when passersby noticed the ice cold body had fallen over and shattered like glass. The unfortunate man was later transferred to the coroner’s office, after he was swept up and placed in several dozen Glad freezer bags.