BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – After concluding that a certain group of “southerners” are not being adequately represented, a group of congressman and senators from Kentucky, Tennessee, and West Virginia have formed a coalition called the “Capitol Hill (billies)”. In representing the demands of the constituents in these three states, they are now lobbying to:
1. Make it illegal for a place of business to refuse service to someone because they aren’t wearing shoes.
2. Build a stadium in every major city, specifically designed to host the sport of tobacco spitting.
3. And to lower the legal drinking age from 21 to 12, so minors can consume moonshine at Saturday night barn dances.