BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Chicago school officials have announced that they plan to close 61 school buildings, nearly 13 percent of the total number of schools in the district in what shapes up to be one of the largest mass school shutdowns in U.S. history. They plan on now offering courses to students, that are more culturally relatable considering the current environment in the Windy City. Some of the new classes include, “The Proper way to maintain a gun”, “Auto Shop” to be more efficient at repairing stolen vehicles, and “Basic Contract Laws” which ensures a mutual understanding when finalizing a drug deal.