BREAKING NEWS – Arlington, Virginia – While waiting for a plane at Reagan National Airport, 80 year old social activist Dick Gregory alleges that Beyoncé and Jay-Z are taking heat for the Cuba excursion because “all the racist white people are on the hunt to attack African Americans.” Gregory also stated that JFK and Marilyn Monroe faked their own deaths so they could secretly get married, and that at least 10 Martians are being held against their will in Area 51.