BREAKING NEWS – Abbottabad, Pakistan – Disney announces that they have purchased the compound where former Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden lived, with plans on turning it into a theme park. To attract some of the followers of the world renown terrorist and their children, Disney has changed the name of some of their famous characters that will now include Donald “Detonator” Duck, and Mickey Mouse “Muslim”. Also, instead of having a daily parade with fireworks as they do at Disneyland, the new theme park will set off a series of roadside bombs.