BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – PETA is now openly admitting that on one day in the next few months, using military tactics they plan to simultaneously free all of the animals in every zoo in America and allow them to roam freely in the streets. They maintain that besides a few species of snakes, no wild animals on earth are dangerous to humans unless they are agitated or provoked. PETA further explained that even a 600 pound Bengal Tiger will act like a playful kitten, as long as people approach them with a warm smile in a non-aggressive posture.