BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – By a vote of 8-1, the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that due to “free” speech laws, it is unconstitutional for the game show “Wheel of Fortune”, to allow contestants to “buy” a vowel. Attorneys for the popular game show argued that buying the vowels is necessary to level the playing field, so contestants that are high school dropouts and most southerners have a reasonable chance to solve the puzzle.