PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!
BREAKING NEWS – Orange County, California – Local cocaine dealers have reported that their profits were down nearly 20% while Lindsay Lohan was in rehab. They said if she goes back to rehab or jail anytime soon, they may have to lay off some of their distributors.