BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Santa Claus is seen visibly shaken, after First Lady Michelle Obama was given the unfortunate task of reading to him the new law which mandates that he provides health insurance for all of his reindeer. Santa was later overheard saying to one of his elves, “That if he had the power or opportunity, I would feed every politician to hungry polar bears that voted for this misguided idiotic law.”