BREAKING NEWS – Washington D.C. – The ACLU gets a major victory, after the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commissioner) sides with them on a complaint they filed against the NFL on behalf of an unnamed athlete, that accused them of discrimination because he’s handicapped. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell stated that he disagrees with the ruling but will respect it, and it is entirely up to the individual teams to decide if they want offer a tryout to the aspiring one-legged punter.