BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Patrick Moore the co-founder of Greenpeace told lawmakers there is no evidence man is contributing to climate change. He said he left the group after they repeatedly threatened to torture him in the “cruelest method” (that he reported to Amnesty International) if he exposed their falsified research regarding global warming. All of the politicians cringed or got teary-eyed after Moore told them that the horrific agony Greenpeace promised to subject him to, was to have him sit and watch several monotone speeches given by Al Gore.