BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Secular Coalition for America which is the largest atheist organization in the country, recently fired two employees for embezzling $78,805, mostly by using the coalition’s credit cards to pay for restaurant meals, travel and plastic surgery. The president of the Secular Coalition Amanda K. Metskas, is said to be at a loss for words after the two terminated employees that are still unnamed, jointly wrote her a letter that read in part: “Because this organization does not believe there is a God or moral absolutes, how can you accuse us of doing anything wrong since there are no standards that we should be measured by?”