BREAKING NEWS – Austin, Texas – Austin Beerworks, a Texas based brewery has rolled out the ultimate party necessity: a pack of beer with 99 cans. This epic box of brews is seven feet long, and comes in at 82 pounds. The new product has be sharply criticized by Alcoholics Anonymous, but praised by town drunks. The local police state that since it has gone on sale, the same teenagers that used to loiter in front of liquor stores every day soliciting adults to purchase beer for them, are now only doing it once a week.