BREAKING NEWS – Rochester, Minnesota – Gastroenterologists at the Mayo Clinic that have been baffled on why more and more patients have been diagnosed of having some of their organs 20 degrees higher than the rest of their bodies with the temperature continually rising, are now considering the possible explanations of a growing amount of theologians. After doing extensive background checks of the patients with the unusual affliction, some theologians have concluded that none of them are Christians, and it could be God slowly getting them prepared for Him to toss them into hell.