BREAKING NEWS – Caracas, Venezuela – Venezuela’s chronic shortages have begun to encroach on a cultural cornerstone: the boob job. The beauty-obsessed women face a scarcity of brand-name breast implants, even though at one time they had easy access to implants approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. They blame the shortage in South America on the continued high demand of misguided young women that move to Hollywood with the hopes of being more appealing on camera, and for Tinseltown’s lack of desire to film older actresses that were at one time a box office draw, that are now trying to avoid succumbing to the forces of gravity.