BREAKING NEWS – Jerusalem, Israel – About 8 miles northwest of the Sea of Galilee, a newly identified crescent-shaped monument was built about 5,000 years ago. Located northwest of the Sea of Galilee, the structure is massive its volume is almost 500,000 cubic feet and it has a length of about 492 feet, making it longer than an American football field. Pottery excavated at the structure indicates the monument dates to between 3050 B.C. and 2650 B.C., meaning it is likely older than the pyramids of Egypt. Archaeologists previously thought the structure was part of a city wall, but recent work carried out by Ido Wachtel, a doctoral student at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, is now alleging that it was actually the first Wal-Mart Supercenter. He based his conclusions after discovering some faint white lines outside the structure that he is sure was a parking lot, and the bones he found of a Shetland pony that he believes were regularly used back then to pull shopping carts down the aisles.