BREAKING NEWS – Carson City, Nevada – Adam Laxalt is running for attorney general in Nevada as a Republican, but is being opposed by an unusual group: his own flesh and blood. In fact, some of Laxalt’s family members have written a public letter urging voters to pick Laxalt’s Democratic opponent, Ross Miller, instead of their relative. Adam is so outraged at their actions that he now plans a full attack against his own relatives. He said he plans to post on youtube, videos of some of their drunken brawls of past holiday season family gatherings, names of his siblings that had bedwetting issues until their early teens, and to list the people who are currently conspiring to have Senator Harry Reid forcibly committed to a nursing home that specializes in assisting senior citizens with major mental health issues.