BREAKING NEWS – Baton Rouge, Louisiana – Louisiana Democratic Sen. Mary Landrieu lost her reelection bid Saturday in a runoff race with Republican challenger Rep. Bill Cassidy, despite a relentless, against-long-odds effort. Landrieu, who was seeking a fourth term, trailed by double digits in the polls and had lost most of her support going into the election. The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee withdrew $2 million dollars toward her reelection, a sign that the committee saw her campaign as a lost cause. But Landrieu blames her loss on republican elected officials in the state, for regularly sticking pins in a voodoo doll made in her likeness. She said that this is the only explanation for her feeling excruciating spontaneous pain, which prompted her to often make idiotic comments during press conferences.