BREAKING NEWS – St. Louis, Missouri – Olajuwon Ali and Brandon Muhammad of the New Black Panthers, have been indicted in federal court for illegal firearms purchase and plotting to bomb the St. Louis Gateway Arch. They wanted to purchase more bombs but were waiting for their girlfriend’s EBT card to get replenished. Their defense counselor has stated that this had nothing to do with the riots in Ferguson, but the two men mistakenly thought that the Arch was half of a gigantic “M”built by McDonald’s, and they were simply trying to discourage people from eating unhealthy fast foods.