BREAKING NEWS – Dover, Delaware – NASCAR driver Kurt Busch known as “The Outlaw” testified Tuesday he believes his ex-girlfriend is a trained assassin dispatched on covert missions around the world who once returned to him in a blood-splattered gown. “Everybody on the outside can tell me I’m crazy, but I lived on the inside and saw it firsthand,” he said when his attorney, Rusty Hardin, questioned why he still believed Patricia Driscoll is a hired killer. Busch also said that nearly every time he got into an argument with her in the past and she stormed off, the next evening while in public he would see the red dot from a laser on his chest and forehead, and he could hear Driscoll giggling in the distance.