BREAKING NEWS – Shandong, China – A Chinese couple is celebrating the birth of five new babies without fertility treatment after trying to conceive for six years, Central European News reported. The couple, 33-year-old Wu Junping and husband Zhang Yongli, 34, have benn married since 2008 and were just about to give up when doctors broke the news: Wu was pregnant. However, because of China’s strict “one child per family” law, the government immediately removed four of the children. Human rights worldwide promptly condemned their actions, and China is currently trying to calm the outrage, by promising that before the the four children are 6 years old, they will all have cushy management positions in one of the local sweatshops.