BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The U.S. Supreme Court sides with McDonald’s 9-0 in two separate lawsuits against the fast food giant. They ruled against the ACLU, who alleged that the sale of Happy Meals were unconstitutional, because parents that bought them for their kids had no right to “coerce them into being joyous”. The judges then tossed out a lawsuit by Mr. Potoato Head, who was alleging that the way French fries were prepared, it was comparable to water boarding.