BREAKING NEWS – Miami Gardens, Florida – Lewis-Clark State College recently won the NAIA World Series. But the biggest story of the tournament was St. Thomas University’s pitcher, Ben Ancheff who stands at 6-foot-2 and is listed at 300 pounds. According to rumors, Ancheff’s very effective fast ball, stems from him throwing double cheese burgers at the heads of McDonald’s cashiers, every time they forget to give him the extra pickles and onions that he’s constantly demanding.