BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – Some 96 million plastic “oversize hybrid grapes” have been deployed on the Los Angeles Reservoir in the Sylmar area of Los Angeles. Each grape is approximately 4 inches in diameter, and they were dumped into a 175-acre surface of the reservoir to begin the fermentation process. Governor Jerry Brown ordered the action in regards to the upcoming election, to acknowledge the city’s flourishing voting block of homeless winos, and from the smaller communities outside of L.A., he said he also appreciated the “staggering” growth of those local town drunks.