BREAKING NEWS – Augusta, Maine – In a radio interview Maine Gov. Paul LePage says the guillotine should be brought back so there can be public executions of drug traffickers, because legislative proposals to increase prison sentences for do not do enough. Endorsing LePage’s historical method of dulling out justice, was Texas Governor Rick Perry who wants to hang horse thieves and cattle rustlers. And the mayor of Salem, Massachusetts Kim Driscoll, wants to burn practicing witches alive that are delinquent on paying parking tickets.