BREAKING NEWS – Battle Creek, Michigan – Tony the Tiger says he plans on going on tour soon, to talk about the mistreatment he says he’s gotten from Kellogg’s over the years. Kellogg’s official position is, they fired him because his personally life is out of control and they believe he’s hooked on drugs. The two lionesses that he currently lives with stated in an interview, that his former employer can’t handle Tony the Tiger because he has “Charlie Sheen” blood.