BREAKING NEWS – Lancaster, California – Mayor R. Rex Parris has proposed to ban neckties from the workplace, citing a health study that suggested the fashion accessory restricts blood flow to the brain. Parris, said he conceived the idea after reading a science blog that claimed neckties restrict 7.5 percent of blood to the brain, the Los Angeles Times reported. “Their findings must be true,” proclaimed the mayor. “I wear a necktie all the time. And if it didn’t restrict blood flow to my brain, how else can it be explained that I would make a proposal this stupid?”
