BREAKING NEWS – Des Moines, Iowa – Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, and Michele Bachmann has shocked the republican party with their future plans. After it was discovered that they all have very good singing voices, they plan on touring together starting October 1st for five months. Jesse Jackson is encouraging blacks to boycott the concerts, because even though the trio plans to sing top 40 hits, not one song on the list is “gangsta” rap.