BREAKING NEWS – San Francisco, California – Vice President Kamala Harris sat down for an interview with her hometown newspaper, talking about how her “responsibility as an elected leader is to go to the people,” amid a wave of reports she’s leading a toxic work environment that has prompted an exodus of top staffers.

“There is nothing about this job that is supposed to be easy,” Harris said. “If something is coming to me, it’s because it needs to be addressed and because, by definition, it’s not going to be easy. It would be a lot easier if there wasn’t mutual hatred between me and my staff, that’s why I don’t feel guilty for running some of them outta here. They can’t stand me, and wish all of them would drop dead. However, I don’t think it’s a ‘toxic’ environment, because no one has attempted to administer any deadly poisons to the object of their animosity… yet.”