BREAKING NEWS – Miami, Florida – A Florida woman by the name of Amanda Ramirez filed the class action lawsuit against Kraft Heinz… claiming its Velveeta Shells & Cheese is not actually “ready in 3 1/2” minutes, as advertised.
Ramirez says the 3.5 minutes is only the amount of time the food has to go in the microwave. She claims it takes more time to actually prepare the meal — don’t forget ya gotta pour water into the cup and stir in the cheese sauce.
This isn’t the first lawsuit Ramirez has filed a lawsuit based on “time”. She sued CBS’ “60 Minutes” for fraud last year, because the show is actually only a little over 43 minutes long. She jointly sued obstetricians and calendar manufacturers, demanding that they officially announce that everyone born on February 29th (leap year), are actually 75% younger than what their birth certificate suggests. Ramirez says she plans to sue day traders on Wall Street, because she recently found out that many of them are also trading at night.