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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Wacky Weekend Questions – Should babies that are still in the womb passed their due date, be labeled as squatters?

COMMENTARY: Absolutely! The New England Journal of Medicine has documented case after case, proving that unborn babies (squatters) that go…

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Wacky Weekend Questions – Between the west coast, the Midwest, and the east coast, which region generally speaking has the most thugs?

COMMENTARY: Because I was born and raised in Chicago, I have to say the Midwest. The extensive contributions that my…

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Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think the grim reaper should be allowed to sue someone in small claims court if the person “cheated death?”

COMMENTARY: According to the ACLU, yes. They would argue that judicially speaking, even residents from the pit of hell are…

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Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think if a mother-to-be has an unborn child that is constantly kicking her, should she have the right to file assault charges?

COMMENTARY: I don’t have a problem with the child getting arrested immediately after being born. But I would have a…

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Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you respect a politician that did not lie, cheat, and steal?

COMMENTARY: Personally, I would not respect him/her. It’s almost like they’re saying that they are better than everyone else, and…

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Wacky Weekend Questions – How many dead people in Chicago do you think will vote in November’s election?

COMMENTARY: I’m predicting a high zombie turnout, due to the fact that many may qualify for ObamaCare.

Wacky Weekend Questions – I recently gave myself some bad advice and I’m serious thinking about suing myself. Will the courts allow me to do that?

COMMENTARY: I’m thinking about representing myself in court too. I hope I can afford my legal fees. (Yeah, I got…

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Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think people will have internet access in hell?

COMMENTARY: If they do, people will literally be getting “hot” mail.

Wacky Weekend Questions – Should dwarfs that are doctors, be allowed to perform surgery from a highchair?

COMMENTARY: I suppose that would be ok. But I would have a problem with a dwarf being an obstetrician. They…

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Wacky Weekend Questions – Is it possible to have a romantic evening in front of a fireplace, if you’re in hell?

COMMENTARY: If they had a dating service down there, it will probably be called “Matches.com”. (What did you expect? The…

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Wacky Weekend Questions – Ladies, how would you feel, if while getting an ultrasound, you saw your unborn child flashing gang signs?

COMMENTARY: What would even be more disturbing, is while in the womb, the baby is seen holding some stolen merchandise….

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