BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Members of the ACLU are stating that their organization has gotten way “too” liberal. They are now demanding that the federal government immediately release Ted Kaczynski a.k.a. “The Unabomber”. Even though he was convicted of killing 3 people and injury 23 others using bombs, the ACLU is stating that he was unfairly targeted because he wore a hoodie. They feel he should be freed, providing that he takes a mandatory course in anger management, and a class on the safe and proper way to work with explosives.