Dear Blake,
I met a lady during a business trip about a year ago, and I’m now involved in a long distance relationship. We talk to on the phone everyday and I am so crazy about her! I’m a very successful business man, but she refuses to come out here and marry me. She currently lives In San Fernando Valley. What do you suggest I do?
Signed, Craig
from Pierre, South Dakota
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Dear Craig,
Are you kidding me? You want her to move to South Dakota? Up until about 5 years ago, I was under the impression that your state did not exist, but was only a myth. Besides that, the relationship will never work. Why would you want to marry a materialistic air-headed valley girl that spends half of her day in a mall, and has her plastic surgeon on speed dial. Find a woman in your community to marry, because over indulgent California women are used to smelling expensive perfume, not buffaloes. I hope this helps.
Blake