PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!
I have been on a quest as of late. I have secretly been following my ex-girlfriend everywhere she goes, and I’ve even hacked into her email account and tapped her home phone. I am currently trying to gather as much evidence as I can, to prove in a court of law that she has been maliciously telling her friends that I’ve been stalking her.