My very argumentative cousin told me to meet him at a sports bar last night to watch a couple of games. When I arrived, he was yelling at the bartender, accusing him of watering down his drink. The bartender looked at him in disbelief, but didn’t say a word. Trying to defuse the situation, I told my cousin that I would pay for his drink. When I asked him what he ordered, he replied, “Water”. I was thinking to myself, if his goal when he was a little boy, was to grow up and become a moron, he has met and surpassed that aspiration.