Dear Blake,
You may not believe this, but I think I’m a werewolf. Sometimes when I go out and party with my friends during a full moon, I wake up miles from the last place I remember, with torn blood stained clothes, and the blood is never mine. Am I being paranoid, or is this possible?
Signed, Winston
From Orlando, Florida
* * * * * * * *
A werewolf is usually considered to be a mythical creature that was highly popularized in the 17th century. I think it’s a real possibility you’re being pranked by your friends while you’re in one of you predictable drunken stupors. A werewolf? Really? I’m curious, are you extremely comfortable around dogs, and I’m not referring to really ugly women. According to legend, werewolves can be killed after being shot with a silver bullet. If you have any integrity, the next full moon you should give your friends some silver bullets that can be discharged from automatic weapons. And then give them permission even if they are intoxicated, to open fire if they think they’ve noticed one hair on your head growing, or you speak a word that sounds like a howl. In conclusion, here’s a question I would love to have answered. If you were ever convicted of a serious crime and it was also proven that you are a werewolf, I’m wondering where the judge would send you to be incarcerated, the state prison or the local zoo. I hope this helps.
Blake