Dear Blake,
I am 12 years old and I get pretty good grades in school. And even though my parents have good jobs, and they can give me anything I want, I love to shoplift at convenience stores I am good at it and I have never gotten caught. My mom and dad always get very angry with I steal something and bring it home, but in my defense, it’s never anything expensive. And I know if I ever get caught, it won’t have a permanent police record because I’m a minor. Last week they took my cell phone, and they said I won’t be getting it back for at least two months. Do you think they overreacted?
Signed, Marcus
From San Diego, California
* * * * * * * *
Dear Marcus,
I was glad to see that you get good grades because many of our youth don’t take education serious enough. You should also be glad to hear that many people have obtained college degrees from behind bars, because that will be your eventual destination you idiot! Even if have some book smarts, when you become incarcerated, you’re gonna need some “street smarts”, and either a cellmate that’s not attracted to you, or for you to gain the ability to sleep with one eye open. If I were to advise your parents, I would tell them to pack up and move to another state… while you were in school, and for them not to return until your first parole hearing. However there is some good news for you. I know that people are the most comfortable when they are around people similar to themselves. So remember this, prisons are full of people with your mindset, and cemeteries are full of people like you due to frustrated store owners who believe that it’s pointless to waste bullets by firing warning shots. I hope this helps.
Blake