Dear Blake,
My husband and I are very pleased to come across your website. Currently we have some major issues with our two year old daughter. She sometimes deliberately spills her milk/juice on the table or into her bowl of food. We tell her not to waste milk/juice. She gets angry and throws away the cup/spoon or other object across the table at our heads. How should we respond?
Signed, Emma and Hank
From Raleigh, North Carolina
* * * * * * * *
Dear Emma and Hank,
It sounds like you two have a handful with your daughter. So, let’s jointly wage war in that ruthless little tyrant of yours. If she does that at dinner time, here’s the plan. Don’t give her anymore food, until she has completely consumed all of the food that she spilled, even if she has crawl around on the floor and lap it up! If she refuses to do that, send that vicious little brat to bed with her stomach growling, and leave the food on the floor for her breakfast. If you have access to some medical supplies, I would suggest you buy one of those poles that holds bags for intravenous feeding, with a very long needle. Show her that in one form or another, you’re going to get some nourishment into her pathetic little body. And lastly, if you want her to stop throwing things at you and your husband, I suggest you buy two bricks, a real one and a sponge one that looks real, and a mannequin that sits right next to her during her meals. If she throws something at you, pick up the real brick, and throw it at the mannequin taking its head off. And then throw the sponge brick at your daughter, but clearly missing her. I promise you, after that episode, she will not only eat all of the food set before her, she’ll be so terrified, that she might take a few bites out of the plate too. I hope this helps.
Blake