Dear Blake,
I have a boyfriend that I have been involved with for around two years. He owns a trucking company, makes lots of money, and treats me very well. Here’s the problem. Valentine’s Day is coming up real soon and I know he plans on asking me to marry him on that day. I no longer love him, and I don’t want to marry him. My anxiety builds as the day gets closer. What should I do?
Signed, Frannie
From New York City, New York
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Dear Frannie,
I can feel your frustration, and your panic attacks are understandable. My guess is, after you break his heart by rejecting his proposal, you’ll never be seen or heard from again. If he owns a trucking company in the Big Apple, then he definitely has strong ties to organized crime. After he makes one teary-eyed phone call to the Mafia, you’ll be sightseeing on the bottom of the Hudson River… indefinitely. If you don’t have any relatives or close friends that live in the state, you might consider faking your own death and skipping town. On the other hand, if he loves you and pampers you regularly, you might consider accepting his proposal, because you may discover later in the marriage that he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. And if it doesn’t work out, you can also make a teary-eyed phone call to the Mafia, because for the right price, he can also be sent “sightseeing” on the bottom of Hudson River… wearing concrete Reeboks. I hope this helps.
Blake