Dear Blake,
I just turned 8 years old. And I want to know, where do Easter bunnies come from?
Signed, Samantha
From Frankfurt, Kentucky
* * * * * * * *
Dear Samantha,
Easter bunnies is something that little boys and girls have enjoyed for centuries. It was popularized in the United States by misguided boneheaded atheists to steer people away from Jesus Christ. I seriously doubt if a rabbit has ever seen an egg, let alone painted one. It used to be exclusively chocolate Easter bunnies, but due to candy stores being pressured from politically correct idiotic diabetics in the ACLU, these edible animal snacks are now available in all colors and flavors. As a little girl, believing in the existence of an Easter bunny can be innocent and harmless. But if you embrace that nonsense as an adult, you’ll regret it when you are eventually standing before God on Judgment Day, and He tells you that a buck-tooth rodent cannot save you from your long list of putrid sins. One other thing, chocolate bunnies melt quickly in hell. I hope this helps.
Blake