Dear Blake,
I am a senior citizen, I own my home and I rent to two roommates that are also senior citizens. Here’s the problem. They whine and nitpick continuously. I want them out because I can’t take them anymore. Please give me some advice before I go out of my mind!!!
Signed, DeeDee
From Las Vegas, Nevada
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Dear DeeDee,
I understand your dilemma, because roommates always have the capacity to create uncomfortable situations. But if it’s your house, you should not be subjected daily to the irritating voices of cranky fossils. Tell them you plan on doubling or maybe tripling their rent, and if they don’t like it, to go live in a tent in a cemetery, since that’ll be their home sooner rather than later. Or you can wait until they have dementia, and then take away any I.D. that they have, drop them off at a large shopping mall, and the chances are you’ll never see them again. But the most beneficial way for you to deal with them, is to take out a large insurance policy on both of them, and keep in mind “accidents” happen in the home all the time. If by chance you get arrested and convicted for premeditated murder, I will regularly put something on your books during your lengthy stay in prison, even though my testimony in court will probably be exactly what sent you there. I hope this helps.
Blake