BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Scientists, doctors, and historians are still in shock after all 39 past presidents rose from the grave, with all of them equally outraged at how screwed up this country has become. Woodrow Wilson who was President in 1920 and endorsed the amendment that gave women the right to vote, began to second guess his decision after a twenty minute one-on-one conversation with Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi.