Dear Blake,
I have had the habit of verbally retaliating anytime someone says something insulting to me. My New Year’s resolution for 2017 is to have thick skin, and remember the phrase “stick and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. So, this year, I will not respond in kind to insults, and I will always take the high road. I even feel emotionally tougher now! What do you think?
Signed, Vinnie
From New York City
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Dear Vinnie,
Being able to absorb fair and unfair criticism is an admirable virtue. I believe I can read people pretty well, and the “tough” exterior that you’re trying to project is nothing but a flimsy wall to masquerade what a spineless wimp you are. Slugs like you make me sick! You construe what people say to you as insulting, but in reality you aren’t man enough to address their reasonable attempt to try to get you to acknowledge your long list of pathetic character flaws. My guess is, you don’t have any friends, and your parents regret not ever locating a couple desperate enough to pawn you on, the moment you exited your mother’s womb! You worthless rotten subhuman lowlife! You’re a slinking slimy self-deceiving buffoon that is destined for failure every 24 hours for the next 365 days! I personally feel like I have intellectually reduced myself just to respond to such an idiotic asinine letter, and I’m ready to vomit after reluctantly accepting the fact that you and I inhabit the same planet. Anyway, if you do not have the desire to retaliate against me, by responding in kind to this letter, you should be fine this year. You inconsiderate brainless twit! I hope this helps.
Blake