Dear Blake,
Twelve years ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. It was a difficult pregnancy and delivery due to a medical condition my daughter was diagnosed with in the womb. The doctors let my husband and me know there could be problems during the delivery. We needed to make a decision. If things went wrong, we had to choose between my life and our daughter’s life. I told my husband to pick her. I can’t stop thinking about how quickly my husband agreed to that decision! At the time, I was OK with his immediate reaction and loved him more for caring about our child. My kid is the light of my life, and jealousy plays no role in my emotions. I would want him to choose her again, but I don’t understand why his swift agreement haunts me still. It makes me question our relationship and how much I really matter to him.
Signed, Karen
From Dallas, Texas
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Dear Karen,
I am glad to see things worked out and you and your daughter are healthy. Unfortunately, I have seen enough episodes on NBC’s “Dateline”, that leaves me to believe, your husband probably had some sinister thoughts with his “snap” decision. Ok, here are my thoughts. Check back then to see if your husband had taken a large insurance policy on you, and during that same time period do you remember seeing any brochures he brought home for new cars or exotic vacations? During that same time period, did you notice that he seemed really happy about going to work, because office romances can induce that emotion? Maybe your husband thinks you’re too difficult to control, and a smaller version of you would be better, but he did not want to deal with “two” of you under the same roof. But the most likely reason for him immediately choosing the child’s life over yours, was simple math. He probably wanted out of the marriage, and after quickly crunching the numbers in his head, he concluded that it would be cheaper for him to pay the onetime fee of your funeral costs, rather than 18 years of child support (and 21 if you include college). I hope this helps.
Blake